Miss Grace - aka -"Gracie Pot" Scott was born and two of my life dreams were realized:
- I was going to be a mom
- I had a sweet, beautiful little girl to share my life with
Today, Grace turns 14 years old! Look at her now. She's taller than me and smarter than me! She is athletic, artistic, funny, sweet and kind. I couldn't ask for more. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE!!!
But having that sweet little girl changed my life forever. It started me down the path of being a "working mom" which has been, without question, the hardest thing I have ever done. Although it has been hard it has also been very challenging, rewarding and exciting.
Here's how my day went yesterday:
6:15 AM - make sure Grace is up
6:45 AM - make sure Grace gets on the bus
Take a shower
8 AM - Head to work
Work til noon
12 noon - Go to gym during lunch
Return to work until after 5 PM
5 PM - Stop by a store to buy my niece a birthday present
go to grocery store
head home and unload groceries
grab dinner
7:30 PM - head out to run errands and shop for Grace's birthday
10:00 PM - make brownies, pack lunches, fold some laundry
12 AM - crash! wake up at 6:15 and do it all over again
I'm blogging about this today because I believe as young professionals (and not so young, in my case) we need to be aware of the challenges and issues that face working moms. This is not a commentary about staying home vs. working full-time, I am specifically talking about working because that has been MY EXPERIENCE. Having children impacts the course of your career. I have not doubt that it impacts promotional paths, salaries and probably the rate or even age at which women earn PhDs. When you are in your 30s you are laying the ground work for your career. If you are having and raising children it slows the process down. Some women take time off for children and then struggle to find their way back into the working world, many women continue to work but struggle to find the balance in their life between being a full-time mom and a full-time employee. Both need your full-time attention. I remember being at the pool one day and a "stay at home" mom asked me, "Do you work or are you a full-time mom?". It flew all over me! I politely responded, "Both - I work as a career counselor AND I'm a full-time mom. My kids don't disappear when I go into the office, I'm still their mom." I was very lucky to take the summers off to spend with my kids for 10 years. I wouldn't trade those summers for anything!
Research suggests that Millenials are getting married later and having children later. Maybe the women of this generation will have more time to establish their careers before they have children than I did. I showed up for my first day of work at Career Services in August and had to tell my brand new supervisor that I was going to need two months off in March because I was pregnant! Not the conversation I wanted to have to have with my new boss on my first day of work. But regardless of how established you are in your career, having a baby changes everything! And the tricky thing about it is that you can not predict or plan for how you are going to react and respond to having a child. What you think you will do right now, may change once that little bundle of joy arrives.
I work with a lot of college students who talk with me about their future plans and dreams. Many young women plan to stay home with children. I have to gently ask them, "What does your future look like if it turns out you will be working?" and many have not considered that possibility. Some will tell me they want to work for five years and then take 10-15 years off to raise children and then go back to work. I tell them that's a nice plan and they need to be aware that when they enter the workforce again, it's going to look different. Some will continue to work full-time and struggle with finding the balance between mom and career.
Regardless of whether you work full-time or not - I encourage women to stay interested in their passions and stay active doing things. Look at all the amazing blogs out there being written by mom's who are sharing their hobbies and passions with the world. Some are getting paid for blogging and others do it just because they love it. Women get much needed self-confidence and self-esteem from working and volunteering. My kids get to see me as more than "their mom".
I'm proud that I have been a working mom. I love my job and the work I get to do. I appreciate the independence and self-confidence it gives me and that I can show my 14 year old daughter that she has a big, full life ahead of her. Being a working mom is HARD but it's worth it!
So, that's how my life changed 14 years ago. What events have shaped your life?
