5 of the countless lessons I learned on April 16, 2007

For most people, today is just another day.  But for me, and thousands of other Hokies, April 16 is the anniversary of the day that changed our lives forever.  And even as I sit here six years later it seems ridiculous to say that at the time I had no idea what a huge impact that fateful day would have on my life.  Hind sight allows us to see with clarity what we are unable to process in real time.  I know that it took a while for me to fully wrap my head around something as monumental as the senseless murder of 32 fellow Hokies on my campus and in my hometown.  At the time I felt fear, confusion and anger.  It didn't take long for me to begin feel profoundly sad yet overwhelmingly grateful for my life.  I suppose that at 35 years old I was stripped of my innocence and for the first time exposed to unexplained violence and the reality that tomorrow is not a guarantee.  I learned so much about myself that day, about the amazing people who were killed, and this wonderful thing we call the Hokie Spirit.

Today, I choose not to talk about the fear and horror of that day.  Instead,  I choose to honor those who were killed by sharing five lessons I learned about myself and my life in the aftermath of April 16.

Lesson #1:  I made the right career choice.
April 16 confirmed my calling as a student affairs professional.  After I had been able to get home and hold my family close my thoughts went immediately to the families who would not hold their children again.  Each time the name of a victim was released I would get a huge knot in my stomach and feel the dread that one of my student's names would be read.  Although I had heard from most of my peer educators, interns and students in my class there were still a few I had not reached.  The university was closed the next day but my heart led me to campus to help in any way I could.  I answered phone calls on the hot line for hours, I visited victims and their families in the hospital to provide comfort and support, and served as a liaison and advocate to injured students.  At that very moment in time my skills and talents intersected with the world's needs - and that is where your calling can be found.

Lesson #2:  Every day is a gift. Be grateful for another day with the one's you love.
I try to always be grateful for another day.  I now know that each new day really is a gift and sharing love with the friends and family in your life is so important.  Find the happiness and joy every day.  Spend as much time as you can laughing and smiling!  This taught me that there is always something to be grateful for and to try to always live in a positive space rather than the negative.

Lesson #3:  Live your life with no regrets.
This lesson has probably been the most impactful on my life.  I don't want to look back over my life with regrets.  I've heard it said that we often have more regrets over the things in life we didn't do rather than the things we did do.  This doesn't mean you should live your life with reckless abandon for fear you are going to miss out on something but rather live your life with purpose.  I don't want any "what ifs" in my life and I want to be sure that I am honest and genuine with my feelings, live my life to the fullest and make sure people know how I feel about them.  Every day I give a compliment or praise to someone in my life that deserves it.

Lesson #4:  You can't plan for crazy.
Sadly, this very lesson was reinforced yesterday in the tragic events at the Boston marathon.  You can't plan for crazy and you can't live your life in fear.  Crazy people do crazy and unpredictable things.  You just have to stay strong and prepare to react to anything life throws at you.  Who knew that less than 5 years later I would be faced with the all too familiar situation of a shooting outside my office building.  This time I didn't care if people thought I was over-reacting.  I hustled students to safety, locked the building down and followed my gut instincts.  I don't think you can plan for every crazy situation, but you should definitely be prepared to respond to every crazy situation.

Lesson #5:  The Hokie Spirit is real.
The whole world felt it.  It's what pulled our community through its darkest days.  The Hokie Spirit was the light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm so glad that spirit lives in me and I hope I will always honor it.  For every horrifying, violent, unimaginable act there are millions of acts of kindess, love, and heroism in its response.  That is what I remember about that horrible day.  It's not just the Hokie Spirit, it is the human spirit.    Ut Prosim (That I May Serve) is not just a motto, it is lived out every day by the amazing Hokie Nation and thousands of students on our campus.  Our future is in good hands with these students on the rise.  April 16 taught me that a 19 year old girl can change the world when a community carries on her work and dreams of service.

Here's some pictures of the April 16 Memorial at Virginia Tech.

I love the letter in this last picture.  "Old Hokie" does this every year.  It's such a kind and loving gesture to remember and honor those birthdays each year.  "Old Hokie" must be a very special person!